Let us breathe!

'Sis this gown is kinda tight on me. Can you open it up a little?'

'Whhhhaaaaaaattttt? Ahhhhhh, Aunty don't touch this gown oh. It's so beautiful on you, custom made, fitted, look at home it brought out your shape! Ma, this dress is truly beautiful just leave it the way it is.' My tailor said.

I trusted her as per high end fashion designer wey sabi. So I wore this dress and swayed my way around everyone making sure they noticed.

The corset dress was truly giving 

Hot Baby girl

I was on top of the world and everything was going on my great until it was time to sit down hmmmmmm.

I kept trying to find a comfortable posture. 

Sit well, I no fit

Breathe well, I no fit Lai lai

How much more eating!

That I didn't loose my life was an understatement.

I saw alot of persons walking around like it's nothing.

Please my dear tailor, not everyone wants to join the present day trend or style of sewing.

They all said I looked snatched.

Tailor abeg oh

Na cloth I come see 

Don, let your customers breathe!!!

The Fire of Love- Part 1

Let me attempt  to convey to you how it means to fall in love. The first day I met her, it was like a dream come true. Her gaze was amazing and her eyes … I cannot explicitly describe how I feel that day because when I saw her, it was as if my knees failed me, she appeared as though she was out of this world. Let me tell you the story.
It had started as every other day and I had been going about my normal duties when I met her. First, I was captivated by her radiance and childish laughter. When she turned and our eyes met, she gave me a smile which melted my heart instantly. I was fixated and fascinated simultaneously. I tried to move but alas, my knees could not carry me. I wanted to tell her how I felt but I could not. I had to sit for a while to let my knees recover from the chemical paralysis that resulted from the emotional outburst. When I sat, I looked at her and met her gaze. Her charming look appeared as though she was gazing into my soul and at that instance, I knew I was locked into an emotional journey. But I could not tell her how I felt because I was scared she would not have the same feelings I had.

Falling in love is an experience everybody should have. I would find myself wide awake in the middle of the night with thoughts of her, I wanted the best for her, I hoped she’d rise high and attain so much. I planned to take her to so many places on earth. I would have this heavenly fantasy about her. I saw us going to different planets… infact, I once had a fantasy where I was in what could best be described as heaven with her. I knew from that experience that she was the one meant for me. I couldn’t help but talk about her everywhere and with everyone I knew, but I could not tell her, indeed I lacked the courage to express myself to her. I hoped she could have the power of telepathy.

On this fateful day I rushed to meet my friend to get his assistance on how to woo my dream girl. I  had barely reached his door and was about ringing his bell when I heard him in an intense quarrel with his wife. I was both perplexed and confused.
My friend had his dream girl and I was there when he proposed to her. His wedding was the talk of the town and he kept everyone talking about them. He would take her out to the garden and show public display of affection. Infact, on this fateful day, they were in a public display of affection when a police patrol van pulled over and got them arrested. I learnt the hard way that day that in the constitution of Nigeria, (or is it the Nigerian police?) exhibiting public display of affection is a criminal offence.
I could not stand it anymore so I knocked hard and had to literally barge into their home. Of course my presence put a pause to their fight. I took him out so the tension could be eased and I wondered how they got from being two inseparable lovebirds to this couple who could not stand each other’s presence. Of course every relationship has its high and low times, but when the fighting becomes so frequent, it spells more of an inner problem. We had hardly sat down when he dropped the shocker.

“Uchenna,” he began “I want a divorce”

You could imagine how shocked I was. I used to see him as my role model and I had planned to model my relationship the way he handled his.

“what are you talking about?” I asked, perplexed.

“I’m tired of pretending, I don’t love her anymore. I want out.” He said firmly.

Eventually, their relationship had deteriorated a long time ago but they had been trying with futility to hide the fact that they were no more in love with each other. Most times, they would fight and still go to an occasion together just to keep up their image.

Relationships are bliss, but they can be the worst nightmare anyone can have. My friend’s love story gone sour has been experienced by many married couples and accounts for the high rate of divorce cases in the country at present.

Falling out of love is a gradual process which begins with taking each other for granted. When couples meet newly, they are both excited and look forward to spending more time with each other, they have high hopes and expectations from their partners  but gradually, the façade begins to fall off and they both realize they are humans and that is where it begins, people start taking each other for granted.

Being in a relationship means one must be committed to making it work. At every point in time, each partner should aspire for the best of their spouse. A little thought about how to put a smile in the face of a beloved is all that is required to make a happy relationship.

To be continued.

My Post- Exam Experience

And that was how I entered buka to eat rice in peace. At least nobody will rush me and my rice.

Do you have rice and stew?

"No. Rice just finished, we only have swallow and jollof rice is on fire" the dark skinned sales girl answered.

I frowned,  because I can perceive the stew and from the aroma, I knew it was going to be delicious.

"So why don't you have rice? The time is just 3pm." I said as I glanced at my watch. "Did you not know that someone would come here for rice and stew?" I probed further.

"But you have stew right?" I asked without waiting for her to answer the previous questions..

"Rice is on fire", she answered.

"OK." I said in frustration. "How long will it take for it to be ready?"

"20minutes." she answered.

"OK,  I will wait." I said to her.

I was very hungry and could afford to wait, plus I didn't have strength to go to another buka and inadvertently destroy the aroma of the nice stew I was waiting for.

While I waited, I ordered for coke.  At least I will keep sipping it for the next 20minutes. I thought to myself while eagerly waiting.

As I sipped my semi-chilled coke, I frowned at the thought that this man couldn't even give us extra 10minutes, at least I would have written more tangible things. And I have to stop sitting in front because my paper is always snatched first, I said to myself.

I looked up, flipped my hair and looked toward the direction of the sales girl...

"I really wish you can just dish food for me from the surface of the rice before I die here." I said to her,  without minding that the buka was full and everybody stared at me with surprise in their gaze.

I didn't care, today's paper was my worst so far, I knew what to write but no time.

I picked up my bottle of coke and took a long sip from the cup.

It even took about 1hour 5minutes to finish question one! How then did they expect us to finish three questions in the remaining 55 minutes. I wondered to myself.

I bit my lips and removed my slippers, the idiot was getting too uncomfortable. In that moment she dropped a tray of rice in front of me.

My eyes widened as I looked from the plate to her,  "I said rice and stew,  not jollof!"

"Ah, but Aunty I tell u say white rice don finish" she replied.

"Wait o, so u mean I waited here for more than 30minutes just for you to bring me this?  Then why did I ask if u had stew?  You should have told me it was jollof that was cooking and not white rice, but you kept me here. oya na, carry your rice, I don't want jollof rice, I will go to somewhere else."

I opened my purse and paid for the drink, sat for what seemed like 5minutes, brainstorming on where I would go to eat. Looking downcast at my bottle of coke, I quickly finished the entire content, wore my slippers and staggered up like a drunk, I didn't even feel like eating anything else because luckily for me, coke had done wonders to my food chamber. Looking around, I noticed that half of the people eating were looking at me, still, I didn't care.


I left the buka, flagged down keke nape enroute to my house, "Today must think I have time for all these dissapointments, well,  I don't" as I thought to myself, "I jump and pass"

I got home, took of my slippers, clothes and wig and slept off.

Chiamaka